Counselling, do you need one?


I just ended my counselling session with my first ever counsellor. It was like a break-up (in good terms la of course). To be honest, I often get asked: Do you think I need counselling?

The answer from me is always yes.

Whether or not you are in a distressed emotional situation or you are 'perfectly' fine (well, we all know there's no such thing as perfect), counselling would be beneficial because...

1. You'll learn your trigger points
I first went in for a counselling session just because
- it's free for Help University students (yay free stuff)
- my lecturer says it would be beneficial woorrrr.

So I went in just because. But little did I know I would come out with so many gains. My first session looked like this

Yes. I cried like a crying baby, sobbing, unable to finish my sentences. After the session, I was shocked to recognize how many trigger points I had, that I never knew of for example I never knew I cared so much for my family before, or I've never knew I hadn't overcome my feelings that I had since I'm a child.

2. You're learning a life skill 
We never learn about self-care in schools or from our parents. In school, we learn to focus on academics and curriculum. At home, our parents taught us what's acceptable and what's not. But no one had every touch upon self-care. No one told us how to check in with ourselves. Really, how do we do that?

In sessions, I was able to recognize my thinking patterns and identify certain symptoms when I am going down-hill (read my burnout story). Moreover, it's the awareness that you have for yourself that's most important. I am now braver when confronting with my feelings, like when I screwed up the other time.

This, is a life-long skill. It's something that's different for everyone. So the sessions will guide you in finding your own way to be someone better.

3. It's the time you focus on yourself (probably the only time) 
If you are like me, you are constantly on-the-go. Even when I schedule my "me-time", it's never my me-time. I find it extremely difficult to tune in to myself, especially when I'm constantly having conversations in my head.

The counselling sessions creates a space that I can fully embrace my flaws and strengths. I could be myself. I don't have to put up a face to be the "perfect" daughter. It's my sacred place.

4. You learn to empathize
This is probably the best by-product. After being consistent with the sessions, I find myself being more calm, hence better at listening. Why? Those voices/conversations that I always had are now managed so I can finally listen to my friends and family when they talk. I learn how to listen to care, not listen to answer.

Before I end this post, here's a message from my first counsellor that brought a different perspective on counselling. Thank you :)

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