Why am I doing this?


I just finish my full time job and finished my 2nd cup of coffee for the day. Before hopping off for my nap, I think I should really type it out, or rather, rant it out. 

This has been bugging me for a few months now.

I've started blogging long time ago. As always, I always stop in between. 

Not entirely because I'm busy with a full time job and some part time jobs. But also, I always lost the motivation to keep doing it. 
I always question myself. Why am I doing this? 

Why do I want to blog? Why do I want to create contents? Why do I make videos? 
I don't earn from it. But why?

I always get demotivated when I'm not as "famous" or "well-known" as other bloggers/Youtubers. 
I always get demotivated when they get to work with brands and sponsorship. 
I always get demotivated when they produce better content than me. 

But then, is this what I want? 

I ask myself every single time when I see things like that. 

And it hit me the other day. 
While I was editing videos or writing a post, I don't remember feeling demotivated. Opposite, I did it just because I want to. A 2 hours editing feels like 10 minutes. I'm not even kidding. 

So I guess, I know what I want. It's just a matter of being disciplined in pursuing what I want. 

Off I go to plan the schedule! 

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